This material is based on personal observations and experiences shared by participants in an online discussion on Reddit. It is not a clinical guide.

Changes in Motivation and Interests

• Participants note that they cannot force themselves to do simple household chores that they manage easily when they feel well.
• The person does not want to see other people, answer phone calls, or take part in events.
• There is a desire for time to stop. One participant describes this period as "dark times."
• During such periods, the person wants only to eat, sleep, and watch television. Everything else causes irritation or indifference.
• Interest in favorite activities is lost. One participant, who has many hobbies, notes that they cannot do anything except use their phone.
• One participant describes a wish not to exist, while not wishing for death. He speaks of a state of being in a dark emptiness without any emotions.

Changes in Communication

• A person stops reaching out to others. One participant reported that an acquaintance thanked him for his persistent attempts to contact them during a period of silence and said this had saved their life.
• One participant regularly sends messages with a heart emoji to loved ones when he thinks of them warmly. He does not expect a reply and does not plan further communication. According to him, in most cases he receives a heart or smiley in return, and sometimes such a message lifts the recipient's mood for the entire day.
• The answer to "how are you?" is delivered without emotion, for example: "Living the dream" or "Still breathing."
• The person often cancels plans, isolates themselves, replies to messages later than usual, or does not reply at all.
• Some participants describe a constant need to be around others and to do things with other people. One of them admits that he agreed to many things he did not want to do, out of fear of refusing, and ultimately burned out.
• Participants note a constant desire for silence and solitude. One of them said he stopped listening to music because he wants to hear only silence.
• Irritability appears, along with difficulty showing up in public. One participant states that he cannot go out to people without maximum levels of anxiety.

Behavior, Living Conditions, and Hygiene

• A person sleeps excessively and neglects other responsibilities for the sake of sleep. Participants describe this as one of the most important signs, one that is often overlooked. In their assessment, excessive sleep is sign number one, especially when it interferes with daily life.
• The condition of the living space changes: dirty dishes and laundry pile up, the trash bin overflows, and clutter appears. One participant keeps the house in order daily and weekly, and a decline in the state of the home serves as his signal of a depressive period.
• The condition of the nails and cuticles also reflects emotional state. One participant reports picking at his nails until his fingertips bleed.
• Declining hygiene appears in several forms:
  • not showering for 5 days;
  • staying in bed for two months;
  • wearing the same clothes for several days in a row;
  • periodically not brushing teeth before bed;
  • not shaving, an untidy beard, or dandruff in a person who previously took careful care of their appearance.
• One participant describes his minimum daily routine: waking up, showering, working, cleaning, tending the yard, having dinner, showering, sleeping. On weekends he lies on the couch and does nothing.
• A sharp change in weight or appearance may indicate a mental rather than a physical disorder. One participant reported losing 30 kg and refusing food.
• A person may start spending money on purchases in the hope of finding joy. According to the participant, the expected effect does not occur.
• One participant describes unconsciously rubbing the skin behind his ears, which causes it to flake. He tells his barber that he has eczema so that the barber will not think he is strange.
• In addition, participants mention self-harm in atypical places. People may easily conceal it with makeup or explain it as dry lips.
• One participant describes constant crying at night and damaged teeth that are not yet visible to others.
• Participants describe behavior in which a person stops listening to music, refuses to communicate, avoids leaving the house, and stops taking care of themselves.

Online Behavior Patterns

• Frequent changes of jobs or relationships.
• Cryptic, coded messages on social networks.
• Sudden changes in appearance or behavior.
• Deleting social media accounts. One of the participants notes that Reddit is useful because it lets you vent, and acquaintances don't see it.

Behavior Related to Physical Condition and Appearance

• A person is late more often than usual, especially in the mornings. This may indicate excessive drowsiness.
• There is constant fatigue.
• The person speaks little, adds nothing to the conversation, listens, and nods.
• Planning joint activities becomes difficult. The person often cancels group meetings or leaves first.
• Bloodshot eyes and a puffy face indicate recent crying.
• The person has become less focused and irritable. They are harder to make laugh and stop joking.
• One of the participants describes a math teacher who came to school wearing two different shoes (one black and one light brown) on the wrong feet, with a shirt half-tucked into his trousers, disheveled hair, and a liquid stain. He explained this by saying he had dressed in the dark. Later, the author learned that the teacher's mother had died by suicide, and for several weeks afterward the teacher wore the suit he had worn to her funeral.

Sudden Changes in Behavior as a Possible Warning Sign

• A person suddenly becomes very generous: buys gifts, gives away belongings, and starts behaving differently, even though they never did so before. If this is not related to a move, it may mean the person is planning to take their own life and is saying goodbye in this way.
• One of the participants recounts that his father behaved exactly like this before taking his own life. His father emigrated to the USA, worked hard to provide for the family, and at one point began spending a lot of time with his children and spoiling them. Later, the author realized that this was his father's way of saying goodbye.

Loneliness and Self-Esteem

• Participants note that chronically lonely people experience a lack of love and have low self-esteem.
• For such people, signs of attention are important. Kind words give them a sense that someone cares about them, and a sense that they deserve care.

Signs That Are Easier to Notice and Signs That Are Harder to Notice

Participants divide the signs into two groups.

Obvious signs:

• rapid weight loss or weight gain;
• other physical changes;
• unkempt appearance;
• poor hygiene.

Less obvious signs:

• frequent lateness;
• constant fatigue;
• withdrawal from conversation;
• cancelling plans;
• signs of recent crying;
• loss of sense of humor;
• changes in hygiene.

High-Functioning Depression

Participants note that high-functioning depression is hardly visible from the outside. A person can work, carry out their responsibilities, and at the same time cry at home every day or constantly feel empty inside. One participant said that he does not leave his room except to go to work or to get food, and he eats alone. He works from home and notes that going to an office would be hard for him.

The same participant notes that sometimes he can be his own best company, and describes how, at a restaurant, he enjoyed his meal alone.

Mask and Inner State

• A healthy person, according to the participants' descriptions, is composed, maintains hygiene, dresses well, works toward their goals, and spends time with friends and family.
• A person may suffer inwardly without falling into full-blown depression. However, the inner state somehow shows through on the outside.
• Those around them often sense that something is wrong with the person but cannot pinpoint what exactly. Participants explain this by saying that the person, when appearing in society, puts on a mask to hide their problems.
• A constant mask of indifference and dark sarcasm in a person who is usually cheerful is named by participants as one of the most difficult conditions to help with.

Self-Esteem and Self-Management

One of the participants notes that he had noticed signs in himself pointing to problems, and that the discussion helped him realize how far he had gone. He wonders what needs to be done, how, and why.